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True Blood – S5E2 – Authority Always Wins
Tara body slams Sookie against a tree. Lafayette screams, “Tara, that’s Sookie!” I get the distinct impression that Tara knows exactly what she’s doing. Tara bitch-kicks Lafayette and bites Sookie....
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True Blood – S5E3 – Whatever I Am, You Made Me
Newly-vamped Tara marvels over her ability to heal from the holy water mist and to see and hear every little noise in the woods from the possum chilling in the tree to the stars twinkling in the sky....
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True Blood – S5E5 – Let’s Boot and Rally
Sookie and Alcide are going at it hot and heavy. Lucky bitch. They get all the way to her bedroom, stripping off their clothes as they go, and then she pukes on his shoes. From the doorway, Eric and...
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True Blood – S5E6 – Hopeless
Alcide is dragged through the halls by wolves. Bill is attacked by one. While Eric goes to help, Russell tries to bite Sookie, but she blasts him with her Fairy Fire. Eric is about to kill Russell when...
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True Blood – S5E7 – In the Beginning
Right after Russell stakes Roman, the other vamps drop to their knees for some kind of emergency procedure. Kinda like kid nuclear drills in classrooms back in the ’50s except here, the lights go out,...
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True Blood – S5E8 – Somebody That I Used To Know
As Luna’s attacker is taken off to jail, Sam tries to get her to calm down. She wants to hunt down all the rednecks, but Sam tells her he’ll take care of it. After he leaves, she jumps out bed...
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True Blood – S5E9 – Everybody Wants to Rule the World
The new Authority wasted no time. The Houston True Blood factory, the largest, is on fire. They watch the news and prepare to feast on a human to celebrate and oh boy! Full frontal ding-a-ling. Eric...
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True Blood – S5E10 – Gone, Gone, Gone
Let me start this week’s recap by saying that it took me ten episodes, but I finally figured out why this season is so horrible. Anna Paquin went and got herself knocked up. Preggers means no naked sex...
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True Blood – S5E11 – Sunset
Bill is walking through the halls of The Authoriry’s HQ when he hears a voice calling his name. It leads him to the vial of Lilith’s blood. She appears, naked and bloody, and tells him, “Only one can...
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True Blood – S5E12 – Save Yourself
The fairies blast Russell with a bunch of fairy fire. He’s all, “That’s all you got, bitches?” Suddenly, Eric appears and stakes Russell. Then, he stands there, covered in Russell-goo, looking all...
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